mallaan

As soon as the girl woke she could tell al-yawm mumil. It's wasn't even 7am and already the morning traffic was crawling snail-style along the ring road. She was mallaanah just looking at it.

But what came next was worse, far far worse.

"guulay shinuu?" says her mother as they sat down to breakfast. The fake cheer in her mother's voice gave the girl a shiver.

"shinuu?" the girl says, absently chewing her cornflakes.

"Your father and I have decided that we'll all spend al-9ayf ('the summer') in a cozy little cabin in remotest Norway. No wifi, no reception, no television - just quiet time to reconnect as a family."

Nothing in the world could have been more devastating than this. Not even the fact of having waiting months for the final season of Lost only to discover that al-musalsal kaan waayid mumil.

"Er, well - I'll stay in Kuwait then," the girl mumbles.

"You certainly will not!" thunderes her father's voice from behind the newspaper.

"Don't you want to be a part of this family anymore?" her mother simpers.

For a hot second, the girl pictures a month on a cliff without shiny pictures, flirtatious texts and access to online purchases.

"mallal! mallal! mallaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal!" she whimpers.

Arabic	Pronounced?	English
مالان	mallaan	bored (m)
مالانة	mallaanah	bored (f)
مالانين	mallaaniin	bored (pl)
اليوم ممل	al-yawm mumil	it's a slow day
الملل	al-mallal	bordeom
المسلسل وايد ممل	al-musalsal waayid mumil	the TV show is so boring
المسلسل كان وايد ممل	al-musalsal kaan waayid mumil	the TV show was so boring