as-sufrah daaymah

Audio with Theyab's pronunciation

maa :araft :an ash-shuurbah.
One afternoon, we were talking about food and our childhood cooking disasters
(he got grounded for not clearing up an exploding pot, I for setting fire to a tissue box, etc.)
when he suddenly said:
"When I was fifteen, I had a signature dish: cream of mushroom soup."
I was surprised, this was news to me. 
"Well," I said, "I've never tried your famous soup ... and I happen to be waayid
yuu:aanah."
It took a couple of hours to make, and the precious scents wafting from the kitchen
almost drove me insane.
"ihiya jaahzah?" I asked every few minutes, peeking into the kitchen for a glimpse
of ash-shuurbah.
"ba:d shwayah," was the eternal reply.
When it finally appeared on the table, the "signature dish" was ladhiidh even fifteen
years later. 
"Did you like it?" he asked.
"I loved it, thank you! as-sufrah daaymah!"
Which literally translates to "your dining area: forever."

ما عرفت عن الشوربة	maa :araft :an ash-shuurbah	I didn’t know about the soup
وايد يوعانة	waayid yuu:aanah	Very hungry
هي جازة؟	ihiya jaahzah	Is it (f) ready?
بعد شوية	ba:d shwayah	In a while
لذيذ	ladhiidh	Delicious

kashkhah

Audio with Theyab's pronunciation

One evening, I invite Theyab to a concert.
His face falls when I tell him it's a performance of Georges Bizet's Carmen.  
"ta:aal, it'll only be for one hour, muu akthar! allaah ykhallii-k! And who knows,
maybe you'll enjoy it?"
He gives me the Look of Death. I know that maa ta:jib-ah these events very much
but he keeps an open mind. I also know that if he comes equipped with a Nintendo 3DS,
iPhone and tablet, kulah yikuun zayn.
waSal-naa at the rather kashkhah venue - Picasso and Miró's old drawing school.
As the lights dim, Theyab points to a member of the front row.
"Is that a midget or a kid?" he asks in a whisper, but a Theyab-whisper,
which is actually quite :aalii.
"shhhhhh," somebody hisses. 
During the first piece, he looks at his phone.
khilaal the next one, I glance sideways and see that he's out-and-out snoring.
So much for the open mind.
As the third piece begins, suddenly I get a nudge in the ribs. Theyab: awake now,
wide-eyed and brimming with excitement.
"muu Sij, they're playing the theme tune from The Aristocrats! khuush filim!"

تعال	ta:aal	Come on (to a male)
مو اكثر	muu akthar	Not more
الله يخليك	allaah ykhallii-k	Pleeeeease!
ما تعجبه	maa ta:jib-ah	He does not like
كلة يكون زين	kullah yikuun zayn	Everything will be fine
وصلنا	waSal-naa	We arrive
عالي	:aalii	Loud
خلال	khilaal	During
مو صج!	muu Sij!	No way!
خطش فلم!	khuush filim!	What a great film!
القطاوة	al-gaTaawah	The cats

ukhidh-ay raa7-tich

Audio with Theyab's pronunciation

Today's phrase is a double-edged sword. Say ukhidh-ay raaH-tich to any maraah
between the age of adolescence and retirement and you may as well begin
the computer manual / home improvement / jigsaw puzzle that you've been
putting off.

Or, in the case of the Kuwaiti Guy in today's meme, it's a golden opportunity to ogle
his favourite actress.

So "ukhidh raaH-tik" means "take your time" but also potentially take forever,
at least until the job's done. And here's the other side of the coin: it's about patience.
Especially when this happens:

"Shall I try on this dress?"
"Or shall akhidh this nafnuuf instead?"
"What about al-nafnuuf al-azreg?"
"shraay-ik b-hadhaa al-akhDHar?"
"Does maqwit-ii look kabiirah in this?"
"Should I try any of them on?"

"maa :ind-ik maani: tanTurn-ii shwayah ba:d?"

To which the reply is:

مراة	maraah	Woman
اخذ	akhidh	I take
النفنوف	an-nafnuuf	The dress
الازرق	al-azreg	The blue one (m)
شرايك	shraay-ik	What about? (to a male)
بهذا	b-hadhaa	About (lit. “to this)
الأخظر	al-akhDHar	The green one (m)
مكوتي	maqwit-ii	My bum
كبيرة	kabiirah	Big (f)
عندي مانع	:ind-ik maani:	Do you mind?
تنطرني شوية بعد	tanTur-ii shwayah ba:d	Waiting for me a bit (lit. “you wait for me)
عادي	:aadii	Whatever
حاطين	HaaTiin	They put ("they" refers to the TV channel)
علىالتلفزيون	:al-TV	On the TV

an6ur-ich

Audio with Theyab's pronunciation

مو مشكلة	muu mushkillah	No problem
بس	bas	But
بشرط واحد	b-sharT waaHid	On one condition

maa-lii khulg

Audio with Theyab's pronunciation

This weekend we went to the Hammaam as-sibaaHah. The receptionist
gave us the stink eye as we ambled in. "Don't you know yissakr ba:d
thalaathiin daagiigah?" Oh, nisay--naa - weekend times.

We trudged to the dismal-looking maT:am next door. We know we
shouldn't do this to ourselves. But here we are, doing it.

"shinu :indi-hum aakl hinii?" I mumble.
He shrugs. "maadrii."
"Do you mind ordering me something healthy, idha kaan mumkin?"
"Sure, ayiib-lich iyah," he replies.

He brings me burger and fries. Perfect.
"Thanks, :aT-nii iyah," I say.
"Oh no no no, this is maal-lii. Yours is on its way."
"shinu?"

Now the stink-eye receptionist is coming over, with a tray.
Did she have every job?

"tfaDHal-ay," she says, putting a cup of green juice on the table.
"shinu hadhaa?" I ask, dumbfounded.
"You asked for something healthy. Clearly we don't offer anything like that,
so I put what's left of my Sultan Center Caesar Salad in a blender for you,"
she replied breezily. "I would have gone to the supermarket to get
ingredients, but it's far away, and, well ... maa-lii khulg."

حمام السباحة	Hammaam as-sibaaHah	Swimming pool
يسكر	yissakr	It closes
بعد ثلاثين دقيقة	ba:d thalaathiin daagiigah	In 30 minutes
نسينا	nisay-naa	We forgot
مطعم	maT:am	Restaurant
شنو عندهم اكل هني	shinu :indi-hum aakl hini?	What’s there to eat here?
مادري	maadrii	I don’t know
اذا كان ممكن	idhaa kaan mumkin	If it’s possible
ايبلچ إياه	ayiib-lich iyah	I’ll bring it (m) to you (f)
عطني إياه	:at-nii iyah	Give it (m) to me
مالي	maal-lii	Mine
شني	shinu	What
تفظل	tfaDHal-ay	There you go (to a woman)
شنو هذا؟	shinu hadhaa?	What’s that?

maalat 3alaa wayh-ik!

Audio with Theyab's pronunciation

"Whatup."
"walaa shay. laiish?"
At this he starts laughing. "laaaaaa, maa fahamt-ay! I'm looking at the shop sign
and thinking aloud. shuuf-ay, over there, the Whatup Sports Store."
I grit my teeth. "maalat :ala wayh-ik!"

ولا شي	walaa shay	Nothing
ليش	laiish	Why
ما فهمتي	maa fahamt-ay	You didn’t understand (to a female)
شوفي	shuuf-ay	Look (to a female)
مالت	maalat	Shame
على	:alaa	On
ويهك	wayh-ik	Your face

9awuur-l-ii

Audio with Theyab's pronunciation

According to official statistics, the third largest religion in Kuwait is Instagram.
I've tried very hard to escape its clutches, and have failed miserably.

Instagram would initially take pride of place at the odd event, but now it has moved
into shuqqat-naa, eats dinner ma:aa-naa and wears khaatam zawaaj.

mumkin tSuurlii Suurah? is code for spiritual surrender to the almighty Apple.
Out comes Father iPhone. And worship begins.

"What shakl of filter?"
"shinu aktib for Facebook?"
"ay social media?"
"I look bad in that shot ... take it again!"

"nzain, nabii shay thaani?" I wonder.

Answers on a postcard. Alternatively, check out the next generation of Apple.

AMEN. 

شقتنا	shuqqat-naa	Our apartment
معانا	ma:aa-naa	With us
جاتم  زواج	khaatam zawaaj	A wedding ring
ممكن تصورلي صورة؟	mumkin tSuurl-ii Suurah?	Can you take a photo?
شكل	shakl	Sort / type
شنو اكتب	shinu aktib	What should I write
اي	ay	Which
نزين، نبي شي ثاني؟	nzain, nabii shay thaanii?	So I wonder what else we want?

ya7layl-ik

Audio with Theyab's pronunciation

"shfiich?" he asks. I must have a face like a rainy Sunday.
"I've just been to the al-makhfar," is my glum reply.
"You're kidding, what happened?"
"I was riding on my bicycle at less than a kilometre an
hour. And I burned a red."
He waits.
"...yam shurTii," I admit, defeated.
Now he starts laughing. "You didn't see him?"
"The guy was taqriiban two metres from where I was,
in full uniform. He may as well have had disco lights on
his head, but me being me, maa shift-ah. And he fined
me on the spot."
"bi-cham?"
I twiddle my thumbs. "100 euros?"
"UFF!"
"But now laazim aruuH lay al-makhfar so that I can pay." 
He asks me if I have to go there today. 
"Laa..."
"bas, :ayal laa truuHiin."
"aTHin bruuH," I say, and explain that should I choose
to pay today, I won't get fined another 100 euros baachir.
He can see that this episode has ruined my day.
"shlonich?" he asks.
"zwaynah," I reply, with a shrug.
At this he starts laughing again. "yaHlayl-ich!"

شفيچ؟	shfiich?	What’s wrong? (to a female)
المخفر	al-makhfar	The police station
يم	yam	Next to
شرطي	shurTii	A policeman
تقريبن	taqriiban	Approximately
ما شفته	maa shift-ah	I didn’t see him
بكم	bi-cham	How much?
لازم	laazim	It’s necessary
باروح	baruuH	I will go
لي	lay	To
لا	laa	No
بس عيل لا تروح	bas :ayal laa truuH(iin)	So don’t go then (m/f)
اظن باروح	aDHin baruuH	I think I will go
باچر	baachir	Tomorrow
زوين	zwayn(ah)	Okayish (m/f)
يحليلچ	yaHlayl-ich	How cute you are (to a female)!
يدتكم	yadat-kum	Your grandmother