Have you ever been told that you think too much? That you're maybe a little chaayid? While some claim it's a flaw, others pay to learn how to come across as more chaaydiin.

Put your bank notes away. With endless comedy in the world, it's much too easy to be muDHik. The good ma:luumah is that it's just as easy to be chaayid. 

taalii tomorrow when you get out of al-fraash, relish that you've joined a darker world. Watch al-ma:luumaat and pleasure in the gloom. And to hone your melancholy, taabi: these simple steps:

1. laa tibtism! Who are you trying to please? 

2. shuuf disaster movies. Then imagine that they'll all come true.

3. igraa French poetry. Baudelaire, Proust, Balzac ... if they ever wrote anything remotely cheerful (and they didn't) it was a trick to deepen the fall when the next hundred lines describe a body being eaten by vermin.

4. itkallam with a plummy British accent, or if you have an American accent, try the Transatlantic one.

5. Shiil ma:aak a briefcase.

taabi: Follow
لا تبتسم
laa tibtism Don’t smile

shuuf Watch

igraa Read

itkallam Speak

شيل معاك
shiil ma:aa-k Carry with you

چايدة chaaydah Serious (f)
Adjective چايدين chaaydiin Serious (pl)

مضحك muDHik Funny

المعلومة al-ma:luumah Piece of information
Noun معلومات ma:luumaat Information (pl)

الفراش al-fraash The bed
Phrase تالي taalii So